Through Volunteering, I Gave Myself Permission to Keep Living

This Volunteer Spotlight story originally appeared in AFSP's 2024 Annual Report. To read other inspiring Volunteer Spotlight stories, and to learn more about our work, click here.

In 2018, Karen Carreira’s teenage son Nathan died by suicide two weeks after his 15th birthday.  

She has since leveraged her 25-year career in human services to become a proud proponent of education and advocacy for mental health awareness and suicide prevention, with a particular focus on youth mental health.

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“Losing a child is soul crushing. The complexity of supporting a struggling child is one experience; the devastation of losing a child to suicide is on a completely different level. My husband and I sat in shock for some time. But somewhere deep down, we knew our surviving daughters’ wellness depended on our ability to embrace the task of repairing our crushed souls.

Where do you start that process of healing? I found that searching endlessly for an answer to the question of ‘why’ kept my grief energy stagnant. I didn’t want to go to an AFSP Community Walk when my sister first suggested it. I felt angry and ambivalent. But that morning ignited a sense of possibility. In my darkness, I decided to follow this path that seemed to offer a hint of light: because doing something seemed better than doing nothing. My involvement as a volunteer helped me move through those early, impossibly hard months and years.

That bit of HOPE shifted everything. Once I switched from asking, ‘Why did this happen?’ to, “What can I learn?’ I found a new sense of acceptance and freedom. I also gave myself permission to keep living. The future looked possible. My sorrow evolved.

I attended a State Capitol Day, and began supporting our state advocacy efforts. Last year, I provided testimony in support of a state bill that would mandate the inclusion of the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline on student identification cards at colleges, public middle, and high schools.

On the sixth anniversary of Nathan’s passing, in partnership with AFSP, I led a team of 21 instructors from three different states to train the entire teacher and administrative staff (280) of the Ludlow Public School District in Youth Mental Health First Aid. That March, I was honored with the 2024 Massachusetts Leadership in Suicide Prevention Award.

Sharing my story and using it to provide others with a sense of hope has moved me toward healing. Finding purpose has been transformative.”