Through My Own Lived Experience, I've Learned We All Deserve a Support System

I think I’ve always struggled with my mental health. But I never fully understood it until April and May of 2018, when I experienced anxiety and panic attacks, depression, self-harm, suicidal ideation, and plans to take my own life. I felt hopeless and helpless. Thankfully, I committed to a week of inpatient hospitalization, several weeks of an outpatient therapy program, and about a year of individual talk therapy.

During my recovery, I discovered AFSP. I attended the Central Iowa Out of the Darkness Walk that September. Shortly after that Walk, I decided I wanted to volunteer and advocate for suicide prevention and mental health. Since then, I’ve participated in several Out of the Darkness Walks, Advocacy Action Days at the Iowa State Capitol, and many other events for my chapter.

I had a wonderful support system during my darkness in 2018, made up of family and friends who only had the best interest in looking out for me. I still have that today. But I was so far in the dark at that time that I didn’t want to burden them with my struggles. I didn’t think it was fair to reach out to them.

But that’s the thing — everyone struggles with something in their life. Some more than others. But it’s what makes us human. To this day, I still struggle with anxiety and depression, but I’ve been able to manage it with what I’ve learned through treatment and therapy.

One of the reasons I didn’t want to reach out to my support system during my crisis is that I didn’t think anyone really understood how to help me. That’s why it’s so nice to know about recent AFSP education programs like Finding Hope: Guidance For Supporting Those At Risk. If something like that had existed then, it could’ve helped me educate my family and friends about what I was dealing with. We all have people in our lives to look out for — and we all deserve people who will look out for us.