Finding Community and Connection at the Long-Term Survivors of Suicide Loss Summit
August 2, 2024 – 3 min read
Many survivors of suicide loss refer to ‘the call’. The call that changed their life, in every way and instantaneously. On January 19, 2011, my family received that call. We had lost my cousin, Jaime. He was 21. I was 11.
In one moment, I lost a cousin, role model, and sharer of so many childhood memories. It was the first time I had heard the word ‘suicide’ and began to understand its weight. Fast forward seven years to May 8, 2018, and I faced another devastating call: the loss of a high school best friend, Randy. Just two years later, we lost Clay, another cousin. By the time I turned 21, I had experienced that life-changing phone call three times.
Every loss is unique. Each of those losses was unique.
In 2020, I was tired. I was hurting. I was grieving the loss in the present and the future loss of the lifetime of memories I had assumed would be there - the family dinners, weddings, and graduations that would now have empty seats that should’ve been filled. I was also confused and wondering why this kept happening. Why were so many people losing their loved ones by suicide?
After losing Clay, I knew I wanted to be a part of the work to prevent future losses - to prevent suicide and support survivors of loss. Engaging in this work allowed me to honor the stories of Jaime, Randy, and Clay and provided a sense of healing.
Not long after, I found AFSP and have since attended three AFSP Out of the Darkness Walks and two International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day events. These events offered a safe space to process the complex emotions of grief — sadness, joy, confusion, heartache, and relief — and reminded me that sharing our stories can be incredibly healing.
In July 2024, I had the opportunity to attend AFSP’s Long-Term Survivors of Suicide Loss Summit. I wasn’t sure what to expect from this event, but as soon as I walked into the welcome reception, I was met with a room full of people who shared my experiences. Here, the word "suicide" didn’t carry the usual heaviness; instead, it was a room where we could openly talk about our losses and remember our loved ones.
At this summit, there was an ongoing activity of 6-word stories - a story told by the few words it includes and possibly those that are left out. As summit attendees wrote their 6-word stories, they were placed on a wall within the summit area. Throughout the weekend, the wall filled with story after story, and as I read these stories, I saw reflections of my own journey. The story that stays with me today is:
“A full life lived, although short.”
The Long-Term Survivors of Suicide Loss Summit is about community. It was the first time I had been surrounded by a large community that truly understood the depth of my pain and the complexity of my healing journey. In those few days, I connected with others on a profound level, sharing our stories and supporting one another.
Fellow survivors of suicide loss, community and connection are essential. We carry our grief every day, and while that burden may never fully lift, the way we bear it can change. The journey through loss can often feel isolating, but finding a community of others who understand can make a significant difference.
You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Reach out, join a support group, attend events, and connect with other survivors. Together, we can turn our shared grief into a source of strength and hope, making the journey a bit lighter for all of us.
You are not alone.
