NJ Board Member Spotlight - Beth Stapleton

What brought you to AFSP?:

I found AFSP after I lost my son Brian in May 2018. I went into research mode looking for more information, and I discovered AFSP. The first activity I got involved with was leading a team in memory of my son at the 2018 Hoboken Walk. Later that year, I joined my brother at another Out of the Darkness Walk in Austin, Texas. Since I wasn’t leading a team, I was able to stop and listen to the speakers and learn more about AFSP. Going to the walks inspired me to look into AFSP and see how to get involved. What stands out to me was a conversation that I had with Wendy Sefcik (AFSP NJ Board Chair) where I mentioned not knowing if I wanted to get involved in prevention or postvention. Wendy said, “You don’t have to choose, you can try a little of everything”. I did that for a while and then I approached Liz (AFSP NJ Executive Director) and said that I felt like there was a need for someone to step into the Volunteer Coordinator role. I have been doing that since 2021 and joined the board that same year.

What do you do in your role as Volunteer Coordinator?:

The first step that a potential volunteer takes is to fill out a volunteer application, After I receive an application, I then reach out to that person, and we have a brief conversation. The opportunities within AFSP are very diverse; tabling, prevention education, advocacy, etc., and require different skills so I try to get an idea of what would be a good fit for that individual. I ask them to attend an “AFSP NJ Volunteer 101” which I hold about every eight weeks. Once I match a volunteer with an opportunity, I then connect them to the right person. For instance, if someone is interested in Preventative Education I'll connect them with Deanna Brugger, Programs Manager, or if it's advocacy they are passionate about, I'll introduce them to Siobhan Power, our Advocacy Chair. I talk to all of the volunteers, and I try to follow up with them. I reach out through e-blasts, and I manage an AFSP NJ Volunteer Facebook group. I also recruit volunteers to get involved when there is a need for upcoming events; like an upcoming community event that might be a good place for an AFSP table.

What are your goals within AFSP, and what do you hope to accomplish?:

A goal of mine is to reach more communities of color. We have seen the suicide rates in BIPOC communities rising in recent studies. I would really like to increase representation and have a volunteer base that reflects the diverse population of New Jersey. It’s important that messaging on suicide prevention and taking care of our mental health reach all the communities across the state and the best way to do that is by including volunteers from those communities.

I often feel like we’re preaching to the choir, and reaching people who have been impacted by suicide or work in mental health.  I would really like to reach out to people who aren’t aware of AFSP or our work but are struggling or know someone who is. Building that awareness and engaging with folks who do not know that these resources are here is so important. 

What are some of your stand-out memories of volunteers you've met and worked with since you joined AFSP?:

Recently I’ve been reflecting on last November’s International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day (ISOSLD) event in Madison as we start to plan this year’s event. I met another volunteer, Jim Langley,  who had attended the Long-Term Survivors of Suicide Loss Summit last summer, and he reached out because he wanted to get involved and so we talked about hosting the new ISOSLD event in Madison, NJ. The feedback that we received after the event really confirmed that there had been a gap in the area, and this event was a good start. Someone mentioned that their husband refused to go to support group meetings but he went to the ISOSLD event and got a lot out of it. Others mentioned that they had stopped going to support meetings because it wasn't working for them but got so much out of this event. It fuels me to work with people who want to help others and make a difference. 

What more can you share about the ISOSLD event in Madison, NJ?:

After Jim agreed to co-host the event with me, we recruited a small number of volunteers to plan and execute the event. We decided on a theme of self-care and focused the discussion, activities, and handouts around it. The focus was on the survivors and helping them heal. We included hands-on activities, breathing exercises, and guided meditation as well as the standard panel and group discussions. The goal was to give participants some tools they could take with them.  

Our panel discussed the documentary, “The Journey: A Story of Hope and Healing.” Volunteers including Jim Langley, Mary Ann Schrum, Louis Jacobelli, and Rachael Madori shared their stories and thoughts on healing. Jack Klingert (SOS Madison Support Group facilitator) was key to our marketing and provided assistance including all the audio/visual equipment setup and support. Betsy Travit and Rebecca Borgese volunteered along with a small group of high school students, Megan Ruzicka, Emily Ruzicka, and Cody Wald. The students really took charge of the room and resource set up, check-in, food set up, and clean up.  With their help, the committee and panelists were able to engage with the participants because they had everything else under control.

What fuels you to continue as a volunteer even when it gets hard?:

I am fueled when I meet newly bereaved families. We have to keep doing everything we can to stop this tragic loss of life. The memories of my son and wanting to make a difference in his name and wanting to prevent other people from going through what we went through drive me. I feel like I have learned so much since Brian’s passing and I want to help others with the knowledge that I have accumulated. 

One of the things I really like about AFSP is that it funds research. We are at the forefront of trying to find new information to save lives. I also love the community aspect of our work. I do feel like we have a strong, compassionate community with other NJ Chapter Board members and all of the volunteers. It's a safe space for people who have lost a loved one to suicide. I am very grateful for the people that I have met through AFSP along the journey.

What advice do you have for people who are considering volunteering?:

One thing that I would say is that it's almost the same advice that Wendy gave me: don't limit yourself with how you get involved. Be open-minded and try different things. I’ve worked on advocacy, which was something I had never done before and now I have a strong interest in it.  Be open-minded but know that if you have had a loss or have your own struggles, take it slow and take small steps. It’s important to know where you are in your own healing.  Sometimes we have to be careful not to do too much too soon, it’s okay to step back and take care of ourselves, but once you are ready AFSP NJ is a great organization to volunteer with.

If you’re interested in volunteering with the NJ Chapter, complete the application here.